Blood Broker Review: Mass Human Sacrifice should not be this fun!

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Sometimes creative people are born in this world. And sometimes they have the urge to make things that no one else has thought of making. I believe this is the case with Blood Broker. The creator of this game goes by Juno Morrow and they are a game developer, artist, designer and photographer. A quick look of their website will give you a good idea of the odd and interesting things they have done in the past. Games like “Oral Perspectives”, which is a VR game that you play from the perspective of a mouth or “Conspiracy Theories About Myself” in which “everyone is staring at you and you must make it home without crying”. Color me intrigued.

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Blood Broker in a nutshell

The gods demand blood and you are in charge of making sure they get it. There is an endless line of “participants” that leads to a pyramid, atop of which the blood is spilled. Some participants are more willing to take part in the pleasing of the gods than others. And since the gods want to preserve their good image they are not happy when unwilling participants are sacrificed. Moving someone who is having second thoughts about the whole ordeal next to some very excited participants will hype them up for their part of the ritual. Alternatively you can wave your big scary bat (not a euphemism) at them and that will get the job done.

Sacrifices range from a single participant to groups of fifty and you better keep them coming. Your life constantly drains and the way you heal up is by good old decapitation. This means that you better not stop for a drink or there will be hell to pay for. Possibly quite literally. At certain points of your endeavors you get to use the “Market”. From there you can buy Blood Bank Deposits, which serve as a heal if you start having trouble, “Subcontractors” that automatically sacrifice people for you and a few other services. Things from the market are not free though so you better be willing to spare a few lives.

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A hypnotizing assault on the senses

Blood Broker’s art style looks like the bastard child of a fever dream and a vaporwave poster. And I love it! The colors are vivid and mesmerizing. The music is tribal and blends in nicely. The sound effects are over the top and make it very clear what sound means what. Playing Blood Broker for more than half an hour straight will make the real world seem slow and colorless to you. Also, the “Yes” that participants say when you wave your bat at them will probably haunt your dreams for a few weeks.

My type of humor

This game made me laugh quite a few times and it’s not out right funny. It’s just absurd how it treats itself. The concept is so strange that most people will ask how it is even a game. The name is self aware and hilarious. The way that bodies stack up at the bottom of the pyramid and how you can use a participant to push them around. At one point the game told me that “Participants are fickle beasts, easily influenced by peers.” and I found it hilarious. I also laughed at the fact that the Steam page has the following 2 quotes:

“OH NO, OH JEEZ.”

“Oh, there’s organs everywhere!”

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You should check it all out

I never thought that a game with the word “Broker” in its name could be fun. Boy was I wrong! Given how creative Blood Broker and its creator are you should definitely check them out. Juno Morrow has a website where you can find their projects. Blood Broker should be releasing soon on Steam. You can also get the game right now on itch.io. I highly recommend that you support the developer.

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